Expectations and goals come with the first snows of January.
I'm sure you yourself expect this post to be about how to make the best resolutions, or a shiny pep post about how to keep the resolutions you scribbled just before midnight. We all rush to decide what to change, to accept, to grow in or learn. It's a culture expectation.
Truthfully, I don't know what I expected to write within this year's first post or even what would be the most beneficial or connecting post out of: something fun on history, a calling to embrace change, how to say 'yes' to that goal, verses for the New Year, or even a reading wrap up. Nope, nothing stuck or felt natural as my brain rattled off ideas.
Then it hit me, we all expect things of the new year, almost as if the sudden turning of the calendar magically resets all things within and around us. If not that, we shift to a new mental state-or try to-as the first weeks set in.
Goals and expectations are wonderful. I've even set goals and jotted notes in the front of my blue planner to keep at the forefront of the year. They're great and we need to be aware of things we can actively get better in or change.
But I've noticed that our culture has made the New Year and January feel more like a desperate mind race. There are new diets to get that 'dream' body, new community groups, new bucket list items, new books on how to change, and so many others. In other words, culture says we have to shift, we have to move and act quick (within a day or that first month) to become this new thing, to figure this old thing out.
It's an expectation of frantic overanalyzing that is stimulating, good, and bad at once. Not to mention, we have to decide on it, start on it, and stick with it all in a month, if not less.
Let Expectation Come from Gratitude - And Contentment
This past weekend in NC, we had our first 'real' snow of the season and it was beautiful. The expectation had been for snow since the meteorologist had all confirmed each other and echoed the chance of inches and sleet.
They were right.
Nothing can quite compare to the soft pure beauty of snow, and as I watched it and later walked in it, I felt gratitude for it. Then I pondered how I may have reacted if my expectation of the snow had been squashed. Yeah, those Saturday plans could have happened, but would I have been sad about the element of white I missed out on? I know people would have complained about the weatherman being wrong.
Our New Year expectations sometime feel like make it or break it things in life, as if the rest of our year hitches on each outcome of the goal. Now, some of those goals may fully be in our hand and some are not.
Further, do some of those goals stem from feeling like we're missing out on something? Do some stem from fear or even comparison?
I've noticed that my own heart and head get stuck in the gutter of all of those things at some point when focusing on the New Year and my expections for the year. I've noticed those are the ones I fret and worry about till I feel sick, or my body seizes up in worry, leading to me forget words to pray or think. My mind rushes to around April when I'll be disappointed in things that are in my control, or out of my control, that fall apart; those goals that may not be completed.
That is why all expectations have to be paired with gratitude and drizzled under contentment. Nothing is wrong with trying to change, to do that new thing, or again, be better emotionally, spiritually or physically. Yet, when we forget to be grateful for our current life, our place and that God is here with us even now, our emotions and brains beat us up and we succumb to the pressure and unworthiness pounding in us.
C.S. Lewis hits on a thought kind of like this when he says this,
"No natural feelings are high or low, holy or unholy, in themselves. They are all holy when God's hand is on the rein. They all go bad when they set up their own and make themselves into false gods."
Anything, even those expectations, can turn into things we value so highly, we put them above being grateful for where we are and where God has brought us, what He is already doing in and through us. Does He desire us to grow in all good things? Of course.
He desires to be our base and hope in all expectations.
He also loves when we look around and are grateful and acknowledge when things change, or those expectations look different and we still trust Him. As we pray and seek, expect and want to grow, are we thanking Him for what He has done? Will we base our expectations around a place of contentment and peace in Him?
I'll leave you with this thought from Psalm 62:5,
"My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him."
Expectations (Goals) Should Push Us to Community
The beauty of expectations and New Year resolutions also lead us to breathe out, or they should. That culture shock of sudden change and yanking to a new 'era' isn't reasonable, especially if we try without community around us. Further, especially if we don't reach out and let others know we need help.
We all have heard all through our lives that anything we attempt is always better done beside another. For heaven's sake, what would marriage, the church, our jobs, even friendships be if we tried to do them with ourselves only. Um, some of those wouldn't exist.
God created us to need one another.
I'm realizing this year that those goals I have for this year may weigh a ton, but if I share them with someone, that weight suddenly eases and doesn't feel impossible. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us of this,
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up."
I'm so thankful for the people in my life who are already supporting me in so many ways with goals this year. So many things have been eased because of people God has placed in my life. And even the simple pleasure of sledding with a sister, or doing a bible study with friends for accountability have eased those weights I've placed on myself. We are to encourage each other toward our goals and expectations, for a load is always lighter when someone else is helping to lift it.
How can you help someone with their expectations and hopes this year? What can you offer a friend?
And, what may you need to ask for help in?
Expectations Do Not Define You . . . In Any Way
This one is simple, but the hardest for us to grasp. The human race never enjoys what we dub 'failure' or rejoices when things change.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, we tend to be puffed up once we do accomplish things, when we reach that goal and an expectation is met. Even in Christianity, when things go well for us, we tend to stop seeking God as much, and then shift to bragging about it to others.
Humans flaunt their victories.
Humans hide their disappointment and struggle.
None of us can tell what the rest of this year shall bring to our doorstep, what whirlwinds or suprise joys may come. We can only take it day by day, Jesus told us that much. We can look at nature and see it.
No matter how each day goes with your expectation for it, what you think others expect of you, what even you expect, we cannot let those things define us.
Only God gets to do that, only Jesus. He paid for us, He made us, He is our Father, and our peace. Beyond that, our only true purpose is to serve and worship Him every moment NO MATTER WHAT WE HAVE ACCOMPLISHED OR LET FALL THROUGH. And we should have peace in Him - by His Word and promises - when the things out of our control smash expectations.
This is not meant to scare or truly even slap you on the back with fake smiles. This is to remind you that this year, don't over analyze and worry, drive yourself mad or fret over what someone else decided to work on. Breathe . . .
No, this is the year:
1.) We strive to grow but balance gratitude first.
3.) We surround ourselves with community and wrap ourselves around others, to lift them up and ease each other's load.
4.) We listen to how God defines us, no matter what comes.
So welcome 2025 and welcome those above thoughts, not the rush of 'new'.
Verse to Ponder:
Psalm 62:5: "My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him."
Song to Give a Listen:
"You See" by Jonathan Ogden
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